Steppenwolf Theatre Company Blog – Chicago Theater, World-Class Ensemble

Closing a show is much like ending a relationship. Or maybe it’s like meeting someone, deciding to really give it everything you have, and then, at a pre-set date, say goodbye to each other. Forever.

There’s sifting through the acquired detritus, looking at old photos, recalling good times, recalling BAD times. There’s the initial relief, enjoying the freedom that you relinquished during your time together. Seeing the friends you neglected. Paying the bills that just didn’t seem all that important. Returning countless emails.

There’s the shedding period. Getting rid of the dialogue that has inhabited a significant portion of your brain and heart. Getting your hair cut (in my case, a WELCOME relief, as all 80s references in the play became unnecessary once the audience saw my giant hair.) Putting all of your keepsakes in a shoebox next to important mementos from other relationships, not to be looked at, possibly, for years to come.

Then comes the shock. The loss of purpose. The scare of show time arriving when you’re still at home. The loss of identity. As an actor, doing a show becomes synonymous with who you are. You are no longer simply TIM ROCK. You are now TIM “THAT GUY IN THE SHOW AT STEPPENWOLF” ROCK. And then you are just TIM ROCK again. Or maybe, initially, just TIM. Or, worse, FREELANCE ACTOR LOOKING FOR WORK, holding a bandana tied to a stick on the freeway and a sign that says, WILL ACT FOR FOOD.

There’s the choosing of sides. Sometimes, the friends you’ve acquired who have become so ingrained and so important in your daily life stay with the show. “It’s nothing personal,” fate seems to say, “but we’re going to go ahead and stay with GB&T.” Conversely, some of the friends you’ve made stay with YOU. And in the future, you can recall the good times you had with GB&T, and how you’re both happy that you’ve gone on to make more memories, discussing relationships past and present, always thankful to GB&T for bringing you together.

Where before peers would start every conversation with, “How’s the show going?” They now start with the panic-inducing “What’s next?”

As with other relationships, sometimes you’ve got your eye on another possibility. It’s a little easier breaking up with a show knowing you’re soon to engage in a similar contract with another lover. It’s much, much harder saying good-bye when you’ve got no prospects on the horizon. But it’s never easy.

And I’m sure, in time, I’ll notice someone else is involved with GB&T. It will surely sting a little, but I’ll stop and see her, of course. Say hi. Say thanks. Remember our time together. Remember all our old friends. Recall all our great memories. Say good-bye, with the promise to keep in touch. We won’t, of course, because our time has come and gone. But I’ll go home, dig out that old shoebox, look at all our aging remembrances, and then put them back. And look forward.

Thanks to you, Blog readers, for your time and for your kind comments. Hopefully I’ll be back on these pages again someday, when Steppenwolf sets me up with another hot little number. Until then. . .

Thanks GB&T. It’s been a good run. I’ll really miss you.
Keep in touch.

This entry was posted by Tim Rock on Friday, February 22nd, 2008 at 4:45 am and is filed under Good Boys and True. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.